I think i had recently fallen into a dark pit and never be able to climb out of it. In life, there's always ups and downs, and now, I'm right down there, the darkest moment in life... Life gets so miserable that i feel that i might be better off dead.
For the past few weeks, all things went haywire, nothing fell in the right place. On a rainy day, i nearly lost my leg when i fell down, after which i nearly lost my sight when i had sore eyes, then i nearly lost my life and voice when i was down with fever and sore throat. Thinking that staying home is a safe place, i fell down again, twice in a month, it has never ever occur to me that my luck had changed for the worst...Everything came down on me, i was very lost. When i had exam rehearsal, my eyes affected me from reading, i didn't played well, all the time i spent practising seems to go to waste, i dunno why, maybe i used the wrong method, or the technique wasn't there, just in layman terms, i can't get anything right. I had a bad omen that i could flung my exam, or i'm not fated as a musician. I dunno how teacher think in her mind, but she was giving me words of encouragement when she drove.
Eventually, i broke down, after a rehearsal session, i was all alone at a bus stop, i sobbed and weeped like nobody business, the feeling was terrible, never been so depressed ever. For me who don't cry easily, that's the onl way i could let out the stress and tension in me, i reflected what i've been doing for the past few months... I was lost in thoughts.
i was home, practising a little while before i forget. Bad luck still linger around me when the rosin i've been using for years dropped and cracked on this ill-fated day. Gone, the edges broke and i had to sweep the floor for those pieces. I was feeling very vexed.
I was in the bus home after POA class, i passed by a primary school, when i saw a little girl tossing a empty plastic bottle high up in the air, and trying to catch it when it falls, the thought that came to me was that she's so carefree and innocent. Now that i'm twice her age, the carefree in me was no longer found, and what is found in me is nothing but problems. I think too much.
On the way to school, i was waiting for bus, and saw a little boy at the bus stop, he threw down his bag on a bench and started playing with his yoyo. When the bus stop was left with me and him, he came over and asked me for 50 cents to take a bus ride. He said that his concession card dun have enough value to cover the bus fare. I asked him a few question before verifying what he really want before giving him the money. He stretched out his little hand whilst i dig my pockets for some coins, i handed him to last few coins that i had with me. We started a conversation after that, my bus came and i bade goodbye to him. Maybe i did a good deed or i was conned, i dunno. But this incident doesn't change my luck after all...