Happiness Bottled-Up

I've reverted to being a procrastinator, how peeved! I try to look ahead and move forward in life, but psychologically speaking, I'm in the opposite state. I keep using my favourite phrase,"If I can turn back time...." somehow or rather it's cooping myself in a comfort zone, I don't have the guts, the courage, the motivation to skip out of there, even so, I find myself still a thorough failure even when trying extremely hard to take the very first step! I find myself deceiving myself trying to convince myself when telling how happy and lucky I am, but deep in me, it's mixed emotions hitting me real hard! If I were to compare myself to my peers, I see myself finishing last in the marathon, not even in line with the competitors, nor finishing first to win the trophy. When I first read about how a job affects your state of socio and emotional well-being, I didn't read much into it, but when the time goes by, it really has an adverse effect on the social well being.